February

It's already almost a month since new year!  And February is coming up...

My mind has gone haywire, and I'm realizing what stress really means.

I love you calculus...

It has been four weeks since I started college, but it past so fast...it seems like only yesterday I was attending their orientation and getting hyped up.  Now I feel the fire burning out...I need oil or wood...I need strength to keep on going.  

Like I said, it's almost February.  I thank God for January, but now I must pray that February will be better...will be more complete.

But first, January has been awesome.  IM:Pact was awesome, church was awesome, BK was awesome; College was awesome.  The biggest change in my life this year--college--really surprised me.  It was easy yet hard...expected yet unexpected...but I survived!!

This is probably gonna be my last post in January...

I'm sorry if I neglect you, blog, I have found something new to play with =D   

Temporary Home

I was walking home from college a few days back listening to my music when this song came into play.  It's a song by Carrie Underwood and this song gave me goosebumps--not because of the music, but because of the lyrics.  It opened my eyes to my life on Earth...how it's so temporary and how we will go to our permanent home.

Reflect on the lyrics and you can listen to it on the music player...just select it.  This is my favorite song now.

Little boy, 6 years old 

A little too used to bein' alone 

Another new mom and dad,another school 

Another house that'll never be home 

When people ask him how he likes this place 

He looks up and says with a smile upon his face 

"This is my temporary home 

It's not where I belong 

Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through 

This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going 

I'm not afraid because I know this is my 

Temporary Home." 

Young mom on her own 

She needs a little help got nowhere to go 

She's lookin' for a job, lookin' for a way out 

Because a half-way house will never be a home

At night she whispers to her baby girl 

Someday we'll find a place here in this world 

"This is our temporary home 

It's not where we belong 

Windows and rooms that we're passin' through

This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going 

I'm not afraid because I know this is our 

Temporary Home." 

Old man, hospital bed 

The room is filled with people he loves 

And he whispers don't cry for me 

I'll see you all someday 

He looks up and says "I can see God's face." 

"This is my temporary Home 

It's not where I belong 

Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through 

This was just a stop,on the way To where I'm going 

I'm not afraid because I know this was 

My temporary home." 

This is our temporary home 

It almost brought tears to my eyes...I pray it would wake you up to...

I thank God for Carrie Underwood--how she has influenced the world with her songs while still crediting the Creator.  

Personality Tested

Just took a personality test from ipersonic.  It was quite accurate...it called me a harmony-seeling idealist -_-

But the coolest part was the part where they wrote about my relationships:

Even if you can fall head over heels in love - like all Idealists - all in all you are still the reserved personality type. With you it takes a relatively long time until your counterpart has figured out that you have developed a romantic interest in him/her. You only show your feelings when you are very sure of yourself and the prospects for the relationship. In matters of love the word “flighty” is not a part of your dictionary. You incredulously notice affairs of others and can’t imagine how anyone can play that furiously with their own and the feelings of others. You are a very consistent and faithful person and you are looking for a partner like that - sometimes it takes a very long time.


When you are too reserved and hesitate too long before you really trust someone to open up to him/her, you make it very difficult for potential prospects. There is no question that your personality is one of the most complex and complicated types around. So it is no wonder that less complicated types sometimes become demoralized and give up before your flirtation has gained momentum.

Once you have committed yourself to a partner, it is for life. There is no going back. Since a relationship is that important to you, one of your most important goals in life is to keep the given promise. Your obligation is sacred and you expect your partner to feel the same way. Because it was difficult for you to trust, you have a real problem forgiving a betrayal of confidence like an affair as well as other behaviors that you see as treachery. All your aspirations are focused to form emotional oneness with your partner and to merge with him/her as much as is humanly possible. If your partner feels as you do and opens him/herself up to you, it can form the basis for a close and exclusive relationship. You run the risk of disappointment and hurt though, if you give your love to someone who wants no part of this intimacy. For you, it is either all or nothing.

Those who know me well, know that the 1st two paragraphs are true...the last one is still to be seen.

Now I'm stuck in college because of Orientation Night...hope it will be worth the wait.

My Time Taker

You keep me up late at night.

I can't sleep when I think about you.

I get anxious when I know you are near.

I get braver when we part.

I want to know more about you,

To share with you,

And to learn from you.

You are my Time Taker.

Before I sleep, I think of you,

When I read my Bible, I pray for you.

Every time in college, I talk about you.

You keep me up late at night.

You take up my time,

And I know you don't mean to,

But I want to know you more,

To understand you better.

Even now, since I've found you,

You've taken more of my time

then anything else.

You are my Time Taker,

You are Calculus Homework.

=)

Quiet

I noticed that I've been awfully quiet lately.  It's not that I have nothing to blog...it's because I have a lot to blog.  It's the third week of college and I finally experienced burning midnight oil.  I worked til three on my calculus home work to pass it up the next morning at eight a.m. which meant that I had to wake up at 6:30 to have at least enough time to take the LRT and bus.  You should know how they tend to delay quite a bit.

I finished my classes and when home...I was shocked that I could still tahan.  I did a bit of work and all then went to eat dinner...I was still awake.  Then I went home and did more calculus and watched CSI until 12am.  I should have slept earlier but it was a good episode.  The one where all the Mac Taylors are targeted.

I woke up today after my alarm probably went to snooze five times before I heard it...that means I woke up one hour late o_o So I rushed to class.

Now I want to go back home and sleep -_-

zZzzzzzz

Facebook is a tool for socializing; socializing is not a tool of Facebook.

In IM:pact I was asked about Facebook and my reply is this: Facebook is not everything.

Let me elaborate here.

Sure Facebook is popular.  Sure almost everyone is on it.  Sure I wouldn't mind having it.  Sure it helps in socializing.  But think about this:  Does not having Facebook means I have no life?  Does having Facebook mean I become a better person?  Does it change anything if I don't have it?

If I have to have Facebook to be accepted then you guys are not really my friends.  If I join Facebook our relationship with each other would only be virtual...fake unless there's a follow up.  I can have one thousand friends in Facebook, but still have no real friends...no true friends.

Think further...many people are so busy with Facebook nowadays that studies and work are neglected.  Some countries are planning to ban Facebook.  Sure Facebook is helpful, but there is a limit to its helpfulness.  

Facebook is a tool for socializing; socializing is not a tool of Facebook.

Nothing sums it more than that.  It is a smart concept designed by some person who is now rich and that's all. I won't sign up for Facebook to save face.  I won't sign up because of peer-pressure.  So stop pressuring me already!  This issue is creating a bridge between me and my family and between me and my friends.

Like what the narrator in The Gods Must Be Crazy said when he talked about the coco cola bottle, "Something that was once not needed, became a necessity."

Was life really that bad before Facebook?  Were our lives so socially retarded that we need to cook ourselves up in front of a screen to talk to our next door neighbor?

Would this tool cause friends to become enemies like in the movie?  Would this tool cause us to fight amond ourselves?

I'm going to predict that you guys might write on the cbox that I'm saying this because I'm not allowed Facebook, but let me tell you this: I'm thankful for my parents, for their wisdom and their guidance.  I won't disobey them and get Facebook behind their backs...so stop tempting me.  By asking me to get Facebook, you are asking me to disobey my parents and you are asking me to break one of the Ten Commandments: Honor Your Parents.

I don't mind it in a joke, but don't ask me repeatedly about joining Facebook...seriously...it gets irritating.  I don't mind being in your 'Facebookless' jokes...but please keep them as jokes.  And I'm asking nicely =)

What You Probably Never Knew...About My Wallet

1)  All the cash in my wallet face the same side--the faces face out

2)  All the notes are placed in order of value--RM1, RM2, RM5, and RM10...

3)  I keep receipts

4)  I keep movie stubs in there since Get Smart

5)  I have around RM4 worth of COINS. 0_O

6)  It's an original Levi's denim wallet.

7)  It used to have a chain attached--but it broke

8)  There are five things with my name on it

9)  I did not buy it

10)  This is a random post because my brain is fried from calculus

Nothing to Do

I always thought college would be this do-your-work-and-listen-to-the-lecturer-til-your-ears-drop-off-and-study-til-the-pages-wear-out-cos-you-have-a-tight-schedule kind of thing, but I have nothing to do!!

I should have planned my courses better cos now I'm regretting not picking a closer time schedule.  I only have two classes today and I'm already tired.  I'm not tired at the amount of things I have to do--I don't have a Mt. Homework to climb--but the lack of things I have to do.  Like I already said, I have only two classes.  What I didn't say is the three hour gap between them.  At first I thought it would be a fun time to relax, but there's like nothing to do here except eat and use the computer...I would read my book but not in the mood...

Oh and don't mind the cats...they're awesome to play with.  I thank God that I'm in the main campus with all the food instead of the other campus with only a few food places...but I really hope that a cheap restaurant would open soon.

And now I sign out cos my second class is about to start...

A Toll of My Life

Feeling stubborn.

Feeling tired... exhausted...stressed...dumb.  Today was in college the whole day since 8am 'til 5pm. O_0

The day went by kind of okay.  I finally got my student ID, got myPride account started and all the stuff which I should have done last week.  Just upset that I couldn't get my Computer ID done.

I'm starting to like Intermediate English.  It's so fun cos I've already learnt some already.  And I love English so ya...

My brain was okay until....

CALCULUS

=O

You can here the drumbeats roll, the sound of your sweat, and the roar of your pounding heart.  I think I should have delayed finishing my maths instead of science.

All those years leaning algebra, geometry, and trigonometry mostly went down the toilet bowl.  Good thing I managed to retain some of it...at least I can keep up at the moment...

Thank You Eugene for helping me out...abit.

Now I'm tired and exhausted and tired...and can't wait for the weekend...for IM:Pact...for church...for relaxation...for life!

Never Enough

I don't know why is it that whenever something that is meant to be important, I always see that I haven't done enough.  It's not only in the things I do, I feel this way also in the people I meet.  I'm never the best friend--maybe a close friend but I never feel that I'm the best.  Whether I score the highest grades, or meet the awesomest people, I still feel that I could do more.

Whenever I go to sleep, I think about the day's happenings.  I compare what I did to what I could have done, and my conclusion normally comes to this: I didn't do enough.  It's like I was always there but never there--always close but never the closest, always the could have and not the would have.

I feel that I'm inadequate and never enough--never satisfying.  

I don't know whether it's my ego, or the way God made me.  I rarely feel satisfied in anything...I always feel that I could have done more.  That's why whenever I'm charged with responsibility, I tend to take it very seriously.

My life's goal--as with everyone's--is to be satisfied, but whenever I reach the top of a mountain, I see the horizon and another taller mountain.  I always look for ways to prove to myself--and others--that I can.  No matter how much pain it takes to finish this journey.

It's like climbing up a high mountain.  The closer you are to the peak, the more painful the fall and the climb back up.  But I want to reach that peak where My King and Saviour sit on two thrones, holding out Their hand to mine and inviting me into Paradise.  I pray that whenever I fall, I'll find my footing and continue this climb into significance.

College Life

Though it is still January, it feels like a long time ago when we all shouted, "Happy New Year!", and hugged friends as we welcomed each other into 2010.

Things have changed--I have changed.  Though 2009 was a very big year for me, it was only a prelude to 2010.  Even as the second week of January passes, it seems as though 2010 will be a greater test than 2009--not in content, but in magnitude.

Being enrolled in college will be one of the biggest challenges in my life.  But I have to admit that I never thought I would fit in this well.  Besides the fact that I'm a '93r, I think I was accepted rather okay'ish.  I plan to be the best--or at least one of the best--in my class, and I need to continually pray.

At first I thought I would not be able to cope with the schedule, but then I found out that I had more time than an average day in school.  The longest time I'll be in college this semester would be from 9:30am-4:30pm and that's only one day.  For the other days, I'll only have to be there for one and a half hours.

Now I love the public transport--it's my main mode of transportation--from LRT to Bus...but money sure is flying a lot.

Met a many people, but only a few actually can be called friends...I hope more people I know sign up for Foundation in Science in HELP so I can be your senior xD

Remember all IM:Pactors:  IM:Pact starts this Saturday...see y'all there!

Orientated

Went to the orientation today for college, and after today, I have one thing to say:

THE HMC GIVES YOU TOO MUCH FLEXIBILITY.


I mean I'm not used to government school so I don't know whether you guys actually get to choose where and when you want to take your subjects...I don't think you are.  It took me almost one hour to actually arrange an appropriate schedule with all the taken slots and all.  I think I rather have it that I was given the schedule and fit into it than to choose for myself.  I mean it all seemed to clash!  No thanks to those people who took the slot I wanted -_- boo you people xD

Anyways it was a great experience today.  Can't wait for tomorrow.

SPM

Was at church today and realized that even though IT IS JUST AN EXAM all the people my age were talking about SPM.  So what's the big deal really?  It's ONLY an exam that will DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE COURSE.  When I was fifteen, everyone kept saying: PMR PMR!!!, now it's SPM.  I don't even know what SPM stands for?!  A way to Seriously Panic Malaysians? Haha xD

Anyways, all you people that will take SPM, don't let it rule your year.  Yes, it is an important exam, but still it's not the highlight of the year.

So stop with the STRESS!!! and SPM!!! relax, trust in God, and of cause study and everything will be alright.

School starts tomorrow but SPM starts only near the end of the year...don't waste the year away because you have to study...AND continue to come to IM:Pact!

Weee....IM:Pact is starting on the ninth (Saturday)...all are teenagers are invited xD

2010

It's my 100th post and the 1st post of the new year.  I've gone far from my blog's beginning.
When I started, most of the things I put up were all poems, then it moved on to everyday life, then still into more deep stuff.

For the first day of the new year, it was jam-packed.  Well it began at 12 am when I was in church and we had our countdown.  It was a pretty long day.  When I reached home, I slept til daylight woke me up.  Then went to celebrate mine and my brother's distinctions in drums and piano respectively in an Italian restaurant.  Later we went shopping then school, where we found tons off red ants planning to set up shop in the center.  Then when we were about to leave...

My mom found this...

It's called a musang or civet cat. Cute little fella was hiding behind the curtains.

 

See how brave I am...so close to it.  Actually there's a piece of glass between the two of us xD.

Anyways after having some fun and pictures with the musang we went home to prepare for the wedding dinner.

The wedding dinner of Andrew and June was at Restaurant Oversea.  There Ester wished me happy new year three more times, heard probably 20 'yum sengs', and got abit tipsy with the wine.  Overall, it was the best wedding dinner I ever attended...too bad Ivan missed it all xD