Monday, October 17, 2011

Reality struck

"Reality is God's tool in showing you who's really in charge"



These past few weeks has been a blow on me...it's never easy loosing.  I've been feeling rather useless.  Loosing people and getting things stolen has really made me question my purpose.  What am I doing in this life? Sigh, I'm not sure of anything anymore...Four things happened that spurred me to write - write about reality.

I once thought that people could be trusted
My sister lost her phone in Uni.  I wasn't affected by it but I was more shocked at where it happened.  I mean it happened IN a University, IN an exam hall.  You could afford or at least deserve a scholarship to attend a private university.  Yet! You chose to steal?! You are in there to learn!? What are you gonna learn when you can even learn proper moral conduct? I mean, you probably KNOW who you stole from.  I hope your guilty conscience eats you up....really.  Until you can't eat or sleep unless you gave back what you stole.  People can't be trusted - that's the sad reality.  When opportunities arise, your emotions don't matter.  People are selfish.

I once thought that this Country was safe
My friend's car got broken into.  Sure, it was a mistake for him to leave his bag in the car. Sure, it was bound to happen.  But in a CITY? A "so-called" CIVILIZED area? Of all the times, you chose to steal, you chose to steal when he was MY guest?! I can't hate you, I don't know your background, but still, I can hope that guilt overcomes you as well! He was my guest! I brought him to that place. The fault is partly mine.  Reality has a funny way of bursting your safety bubble.  

An Uncle I'll never say Hi to
Uncle Raymond passed away rather suddenly and unexpectedly.  He was a good man.  All it took was a heart attack and he was gone.  I mean where's the justice in that? He deserved to have his family at his bedside as he said his farewells.  It's sad that I've lost another family member.  And the worst part about it is that I've never spoken to him as far as I can remember.  What's worst? Knowing an uncle who died, or never having the chance to speak to him?  This is my fault, for not initializing the conversation. Again reality woke me up.

Logos Hope
Thankfully, this last incident is not a depressing one.  A few volunteers came from Logos Hope to CUG and they shared about their time travelling the world and spreading the Word through education.  I was challenged that day.  What was I doing when these people can heed the Great Commission while I go out on my own heeding my OWN Commission.  What am I doing with this God that saved me?  I'm not sure what my plan is now.  But I'm thinking of pausing my education after my degree and maybe serve God and seek His calling.  

These events has been a rather big eye-opener.  I know I act like it doesn't affect me outside, but I mean - I'm human.  Life is important and I hate to see things go... These two weeks have thought me that - above every single thing in this large universe - God is in control. I've been depending on myself for too long. I've told God where to sit in my life.  I've been in charge of this life for too long and it's time a different Captain directs this life.  I've never felt so helpless in my life.  I was never prepared for these situations...


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Eh

Don't feel like updating about my life anymore...
Don't feel like using this blog anymore...

Well, until I ever have the will to write again...

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Sigh

Never felt so helpless in my life, God please give me strength to end this chapter.  


It was supposed to be a good week, it was supposed to be good...and lousy people have to ruin it.  I didn't know that this country was still so uncivilized. Have we progressed? How is it that people who can afford to enter a private university have the need to steal a handphone? How is it that people for live in a city have a need to break a window? 


Is there security left in this world? Are we still safe here? Is is better of to die now? Sigh.
Hate being useless...

A Say for Today

If right-handers use their left brain, doesn't it mean that left-handers are always in the right mind??