Why the fear?

Today I've realized the reason for my fear in...everything.
I always thought my pessimism was due to the introverted melancholic in me but now I know it's not the ONLY reason. Sure my temperament will play an important role in my thinking, but it does not explain why I'm always seeing the worse in situations.

I'm pretty sure that if I am to direct a horror movie, it'll be one super scary one...that's why I don't watch horror movies, the thought's of death is such a scary concept.

My fear can be traced down to my earliest memory. I mean some people remember the park they grew up in, the toy that they loved, the cot they slept in while their parents sang lullabies, but not me. You want to know my earliest ever memories are? They are of me almost drowning...I admit, not a really encouraging one. But could my fear of things have begun from here?

I'm thankful that my next semester is going to have one class that has compulsory counselling. Hopefully I can get everything out and STOP being so pessimistic about things. I need to start seeing the good in both situations and people. I want to...

I want to see the possibility of us being together without thinking of how much better you are without me. I want to see the end of the day without thinking that I may not wake up the next day. I want to jump and climb things without thinking of the mess I'd make if I fell. I want to drive the car without...yea, I should not continue to the further reaches of my "dark" thoughts, so I should stop here...

Yes, at least now I know that my past had an effect on my present...Freud was right after all. =/