Recently I seem to be clashing with a lot of people and things. My point of view is changing, and I believe it is changing for the better. But what I don't get is why do people BLINDLY want to jeopardize things for the sake of entertainment.
What I'm talking about is a couple of people going off to some place to have the time of their lives. I don't see anything wrong with that except for safety precautions. I'm not angry at those who want to go, I'm mean who doesn't want to waste their time away with friends? But to everything, there is a limit, and I'm praying, that these bunch of people will know their limits not just forget about their responsibilities and throw away standards for "instant noodle" fun.
I'm planning to opt out of a ministry I joined. I've been in this ministry for one year already and I feel that I should take a step back. Honestly speaking, I don't think the leader's personality and mine would produce anything productive. But I know, it's always easier to run away then to face the problem, but it's a little difficult when the problem consists of multiple factors. I mean, I don't think I can work in a ministry when the leader cannot take simple and sound advice. I need time to think about this...and time to pray.
The thought of leaving seems so strong and stubborn in my mind. Is it me to want to leave when I'm finally accepted? I don't know why I want to leave, I'm not sure whether it's the right thing to do. I tell people that IF I ever leave, it'll only be temporary...that I just need time, but I think I need more than that now.
Taking time to reflect, I can see that home was really not where I belonged. In a society that accepts people that follow the order of things, a person like me, who criticizes, would never be truly accepted. In a place where positions are given not to those who are better equipped but to those who happen to be leaving, I don't see what's the use of trying.
These are just thoughts that have been bugging my mind for the past few hours. I sure need some sort of closure for these issues...
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