Wilderness

There shouldn't be anything wrong with me life now.  There shouldn't be any socially awkward moments anymore.  There shouldn't be any feelings of loneliness I should be facing.  But why am I?

Learned in 223 that being sad makes you wiser.  So I'm guessing that this afternoon's incident has put me in a spot where I can reflect more about my life.  So what's up? It's been building for sometime now. It started with the really bad mood swing at the beginning of the week., and I thought that phase was over, now I think I'm having a relapse.  I've been stuck in this wilderness for sometime. Always feeling on my own.  Always feeling that no one cares...

The sadder but wiser theory...I see why now.

It's funny that sometimes you are just forgotten in a crowd of people even though you were the loudest. It's funny that sometimes you are not remembered even though you did the most.  It's funny that sometimes recognition is given to someone else even though you deserve it too...

I know I'm probably overthinking and overeading things, but I feel that I do not have enough evidence to support otherwise.  I'm trying and trying to see life from a positive point of view, but the negatives always comes back to haunt me.

I feel that I'm slowly losing my sanity - my grip on reality.  It's getting overbearing and I just need a break from everything.  Anyways, who would care if I disappear?

I had dreams once...I had plans once...I had hopes once...yea, once.

Good bye