No more blogs...
No one bothers what my story is anyways...
There's too much going on...and I feel that everything is so cooked inside of me that I'm giving up. I'm letting myself burn. I've been lying to myself saying that blogging will help - it will help release stress, I can tell the world my story.
But who wants to hear my story?
Good bye
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Wilderness
There shouldn't be anything wrong with me life now. There shouldn't be any socially awkward moments anymore. There shouldn't be any feelings of loneliness I should be facing. But why am I?
Learned in 223 that being sad makes you wiser. So I'm guessing that this afternoon's incident has put me in a spot where I can reflect more about my life. So what's up? It's been building for sometime now. It started with the really bad mood swing at the beginning of the week., and I thought that phase was over, now I think I'm having a relapse. I've been stuck in this wilderness for sometime. Always feeling on my own. Always feeling that no one cares...
The sadder but wiser theory...I see why now.
It's funny that sometimes you are just forgotten in a crowd of people even though you were the loudest. It's funny that sometimes you are not remembered even though you did the most. It's funny that sometimes recognition is given to someone else even though you deserve it too...
I know I'm probably overthinking and overeading things, but I feel that I do not have enough evidence to support otherwise. I'm trying and trying to see life from a positive point of view, but the negatives always comes back to haunt me.
I feel that I'm slowly losing my sanity - my grip on reality. It's getting overbearing and I just need a break from everything. Anyways, who would care if I disappear?
I had dreams once...I had plans once...I had hopes once...yea, once.
Good bye
Learned in 223 that being sad makes you wiser. So I'm guessing that this afternoon's incident has put me in a spot where I can reflect more about my life. So what's up? It's been building for sometime now. It started with the really bad mood swing at the beginning of the week., and I thought that phase was over, now I think I'm having a relapse. I've been stuck in this wilderness for sometime. Always feeling on my own. Always feeling that no one cares...
The sadder but wiser theory...I see why now.
It's funny that sometimes you are just forgotten in a crowd of people even though you were the loudest. It's funny that sometimes you are not remembered even though you did the most. It's funny that sometimes recognition is given to someone else even though you deserve it too...
I know I'm probably overthinking and overeading things, but I feel that I do not have enough evidence to support otherwise. I'm trying and trying to see life from a positive point of view, but the negatives always comes back to haunt me.
I feel that I'm slowly losing my sanity - my grip on reality. It's getting overbearing and I just need a break from everything. Anyways, who would care if I disappear?
I had dreams once...I had plans once...I had hopes once...yea, once.
Good bye
3 years on the give...
Always on the give and rarely on the take.
I wonder how much more until I will break...
How much more can I tolerate,
How much more before I hate?
Seriously, you've told me things you don't like about me, and I changed it. I don't see why you can't do the same...
Monday, March 19, 2012
be prepared to be wowed
See, I'm gonna wear you down; I'm gonna make you see :)
So now to prove that I'm right, I got to run a survey...I can do that.
To prove I can, I got to write you something worth 100 lines...challenge accepted.
Be prepared to be wowed ;)
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The words I would say
Just discovered the Sidewalk Prophets. And I must say that they are really a blessed band. Their musicality and lyrics are amazing and I love them the most for the latter. This song is the one I find the most inspirational. I love especially the chorus that says:
Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
There is peace in the eye of the storm.
For the next few weeks until my finals I'll be burning midnight oil and whatever I have just to survive.
My agenda for the next few weeks.
Friday (16th March): Assignment due
Thursday (22nd March): Class test
Friday (23rd March): Assignment due
Friday (30th March): Assignment due
Monday (2nd April): Assignment due
Friday (6th April): Assignment due
Friday (6th April): Assignment due
Friday (20th April): Finals begin
Thursday (26th April): Finals end
This list is scaring me O.O
Not to mention planning to watch the vow with you...where on earth am I going to fit that in? But I will :) haha
This is not going to be a fun 7 weeks...
My agenda for the next few weeks.
Friday (16th March): Assignment due
Thursday (22nd March): Class test
Friday (23rd March): Assignment due
Friday (30th March): Assignment due
Monday (2nd April): Assignment due
Friday (6th April): Assignment due
Friday (6th April): Assignment due
Friday (20th April): Finals begin
Thursday (26th April): Finals end
This list is scaring me O.O
Not to mention planning to watch the vow with you...where on earth am I going to fit that in? But I will :) haha
This is not going to be a fun 7 weeks...
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Under Pressure
You know how confident I sounded when I said I could handle five subjects? Well, not I'm regretting, but it's too late now. I'm pressured by so many things at the moment that it's not funny anymore. I'm losing myself in this chaos.
This week alone, I had meetings for all my assignment groups. I barely have time for myself now. Being captain of the psychology ping pong team is another burden that I took on this year as well as joining the psychology volleyball team. All these on top of last year's commitments. Last year, I joined the HELPsych Gazette and the Cohort Effect. Not to mention church commitments like the CUG committee and the worship team. I actually wonder how some people can handle so much things. I need to work on a working schedule and try my best to make it work. I need commitment.
One thing that has kept me sane is my social relationships. I realized that having a group of friends like the 93s have really kept me moving all these while. I mean, I don't think I can compare them with any other group out there. They are like my spiritual, intellectual, physical, mental, emotional, musical, and social battery. If ever I feel that I can't take it anymore, I hold on until the weekend to get recharged from them :) I really honestly thank God for you bunch of awesome people!
Another social relationship that has helped me keep my sanity is you :) Everytime you reply a message, it brings a smile to my face and that smile is enough to keep me running for a long time. I know this will be a bumpy ride, but I wouldn't want to ride it with anyone else...
The Uni-mates can't really be called destressors since their very presence reminds me of my assignments, but you guys are great nonetheless :)
Well, now back to my assignment!
This week alone, I had meetings for all my assignment groups. I barely have time for myself now. Being captain of the psychology ping pong team is another burden that I took on this year as well as joining the psychology volleyball team. All these on top of last year's commitments. Last year, I joined the HELPsych Gazette and the Cohort Effect. Not to mention church commitments like the CUG committee and the worship team. I actually wonder how some people can handle so much things. I need to work on a working schedule and try my best to make it work. I need commitment.
One thing that has kept me sane is my social relationships. I realized that having a group of friends like the 93s have really kept me moving all these while. I mean, I don't think I can compare them with any other group out there. They are like my spiritual, intellectual, physical, mental, emotional, musical, and social battery. If ever I feel that I can't take it anymore, I hold on until the weekend to get recharged from them :) I really honestly thank God for you bunch of awesome people!
Another social relationship that has helped me keep my sanity is you :) Everytime you reply a message, it brings a smile to my face and that smile is enough to keep me running for a long time. I know this will be a bumpy ride, but I wouldn't want to ride it with anyone else...
The Uni-mates can't really be called destressors since their very presence reminds me of my assignments, but you guys are great nonetheless :)
Well, now back to my assignment!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Church Hopping 2.0 - ACTs
It was a pleasant day yesterday well except for the car accident...
So church hopping 2.0 happened yesterday and this time I went to ACTs church in Summit USJ. So their service began at 9:15 but we arrived a little too early. We joined them for their pre-service prayer meeting that I must say was really an eye-opener.
The worship was quite short but meaningful nonetheless. What I really loved about the entire service was the sermon. I mean it's the first time I actually took notes on a Sunday morning.
Ps. Kenneth Chin spoke about being a witness. They way he spoke was really inspirational. I wanted to walk out the place and preach to the first person I saw. He reinforced many of my beliefs and taught me many new things. One thing I've taken back is the encouragement that we don't have to be know-it-alls to witness, after all, we are called to witness OUR story and who knows our story better than us? Something I took back was the fact that we are called to be GOOD witnesses. This has been my aim for sometime - to be a good person regardless of the situation and my mood. A good encouragement. I have to die to rejection and continue to be a good witness :)
I felt the church welcoming and professional at the same time. I mean, they dress up for Sunday service so that they can give God their best. I found the way they began their prayer in the morning rather unique as well.
Overall, it was a good service and experience. I understand why this church is so blessed.
Where should I head to next?
So church hopping 2.0 happened yesterday and this time I went to ACTs church in Summit USJ. So their service began at 9:15 but we arrived a little too early. We joined them for their pre-service prayer meeting that I must say was really an eye-opener.
The worship was quite short but meaningful nonetheless. What I really loved about the entire service was the sermon. I mean it's the first time I actually took notes on a Sunday morning.
Ps. Kenneth Chin spoke about being a witness. They way he spoke was really inspirational. I wanted to walk out the place and preach to the first person I saw. He reinforced many of my beliefs and taught me many new things. One thing I've taken back is the encouragement that we don't have to be know-it-alls to witness, after all, we are called to witness OUR story and who knows our story better than us? Something I took back was the fact that we are called to be GOOD witnesses. This has been my aim for sometime - to be a good person regardless of the situation and my mood. A good encouragement. I have to die to rejection and continue to be a good witness :)
I felt the church welcoming and professional at the same time. I mean, they dress up for Sunday service so that they can give God their best. I found the way they began their prayer in the morning rather unique as well.
Overall, it was a good service and experience. I understand why this church is so blessed.
Where should I head to next?
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