The Sweetest Song :)

You know that one song that always makes you go awww? Well, I've never had many of those until this.  I heard the sweetest love song ever from the least expected place - Casting Crowns.  For those who don't know Casting Crowns, they are a Christian band made up of Youth pastors from churches in USA (I can't remember the State).  

So when I heard they had a new song called Angel, I thought it'll be something about...well, Angels.  I was taken by surprised when I realized it was about Mark Hall's (The lead singer) wife.  And the lyrics are so sweet I tell you! hahaha

The cool thing about this song is that a few weeks later I heard a sermon where the preacher said that we should pray for your spouse.  He said that his wife's parents often prayed for their children's spouse.  And I makes sense.  It makes sense to continue to pray for the person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. 

I'm praying now for an Angel to love me :)

And it's another one of those posts...

I really need to stop over-thinking things.

I need to get priorities right.

I need to remember that the world doesn't revolve around me.

I need to stick it in my head that this is a tough semester and STUDY.

Right now I'm start in the cross road. I need to make a decision to pursue or not because it's unfair for both parties, but this will be much easier if I can understand what you want...I'm confused. I'm new to this...

I'm a chameleon.  I can be whoever you want me to be, but I need you to tell me what you want.
Eh dilemmas of life I guess.

After all, who am I to expect something to happen? You have much better options to choose from.  I mean, I have not much to offer - no experience, no maturity, no idea how to make this work.  You are beautiful no matter what you may say (I know I'm making my point clear, and I know you know that I mean the truth).  You are like the life of the party, and I'm that guy who stays home and writes blogs >< If we were in the American school system, you'd be the cheer-captain, and I'd be the president of the chess club.  So am I holding you back? In all honesty, I feel that way.

BUT

I need to stop over-thinking again...

Silence is definitely deafening

This is a test...I'll pass it...don't know how, but I will...

I'm just not good at this and I don't know what to do.

I wish that people had those hologram-like signs above their heads that lists their worries, and plans, and emotions so that I'll know what's happening.  Well, I know it's called EQ...but I need something for certain then just random guessing.

I'm confused as to what I'm supposed to do? Comfort? Leave? Nothing?

Ish, complications. I just want you to know that I care and just say what you want and I'll do anything in my power to help.

Just don't keep me in the dark...because when this happens, silence is definitely deafening

The week gone by and Church Hopping 1.0

Well, I would say it's been a really eventful week.  :) I'm really happy with this week and I hope that it stays nice.

What happened?
Well, this little boy got his first date for Valentines...that's what happened. hahaha
I'm still happy over that fact that you chose me :) So I've been kinda happy and procrastinating with happiness that I had to rush an important assignment which I kinda just completed.
And there's the fact that I had training for ping pong (So you weren't the only distraction hahah) on Wednesday and Friday.
Along with the normal hours of attending classes, I guess I've had quite a long week.

And it doesn't stop there sadly (or happily depending on how you look at it).  This week I have to pass up a major assignment which I just finished and so it's not really a biggy anymore, but there's also the fact that I have my midterms this week (So if you are reading this, stop distracting me hahaha).  A biopsych paper on Thursday followed immediately by the Child Abuse paper the next day. Both of my heavy subjects gonna pile and dig a grave for me.  I told myself "1st class honors" so I'm gonna work for it. I'm gonna spend less on the computer. Spend less on myself, and anything and focus on these papers. I need to score.

So this week, because of Valentines, I had a lot of explaining to do especially to many of my friends (It's amazing how curious of your life they all become when they discover you have a date).  But I guess I was happy to explain, after all there's nothing I can continue to hide...


Another reason why it was a good week, is because I finally put my church hopping plan into effect after 2 years in the talking.  So I visited the Bread Of Life Church - a bilingual church with a Chinese-speaking majority.  I would first like to say that I wasn't COMPLETELY lost.  I could understand what was happening sometimes.

So what did I learn? The speaker talked about Marriage and all and though there was nothing much new, I did learn that it's hard to concentrate when somebody keeps on talking to you.  hahaha

So what have I taken back?  I generally found them rather structured and welcoming.  It was like a flood of people coming to greet you walking all the way across the hall just to say hi.  The most intriguing thing was that they bothered to talk to you even after the service.  That's something new, unlike one church I've visited that didn't bother with the follow up.  

I've also taken back a little of their structure of their youth service that made me think.  I mean, why isn't our church giving the youth the main sanctuary to use?

:)

Valentines

I never expected to be with someone like you on this special occasion.  I never expected to be accepted by someone like you. But you accepted.

Thank you :)

Acceptance

Today's devotion was the answer to yesterday's issues.  I'll accept you for who you are and will do my best to do just that. I have to accept that I cannot change everything - I'm not in control.  All I can do is do my part, and in this case, it's to warn, but not judge.  And that's all I'm gonna try to do.

I've been blessed and accepted by people, so why am I trying to leave? I Think that answers my issue, I'm not gonna leave permanently. I'm not gonna leave the only place that has learned to accept me.

Clash of the Stubborns

Recently I seem to be clashing with a lot of people and things.  My point of view is changing, and I believe it is changing for the better. But what I don't get is why do people BLINDLY want to jeopardize things for the sake  of entertainment.

What I'm talking about is a couple of people going off to some place to have the time of their lives.  I don't see anything wrong with that except for safety precautions.  I'm not angry at those who want to go, I'm mean who doesn't want to waste their time away with friends?  But to everything, there is a limit, and I'm praying, that these bunch of people will know their limits not just forget about their responsibilities and throw away standards for "instant noodle" fun.

I'm planning to opt out of a ministry I joined. I've been in this ministry for one year already and I feel that I should take a step back.  Honestly speaking, I don't think the leader's personality and mine would produce anything productive.  But I know, it's always easier to run away then to face the problem, but it's a little difficult when the problem consists of multiple factors.  I mean, I don't think I can work in a ministry when the leader cannot take simple and sound advice.  I need time to think about this...and time to pray.

The thought of leaving seems so strong and stubborn in my mind.  Is it me to want to leave when I'm finally accepted? I don't know why I want to leave, I'm not sure whether it's the right thing to do.  I tell people that IF I ever leave, it'll only be temporary...that I just need time, but I think I need more than that now.

Taking time to reflect, I can see that home was really not where I belonged. In a society that accepts people that follow the order of things, a person like me, who criticizes, would never be truly accepted.  In a place where positions are given not to those who are better equipped but to those who happen to be leaving, I don't see what's the use of trying.

These are just thoughts that have been bugging my mind for the past few hours.  I sure need some sort of closure for these issues...