Thoughts

"It seems whenever you pride yourself at being strong, life just sticks its tongue at you and brings you down."

I guess it's a lesson of humility and all, but I mean I sometimes wish there is a clear cut right and wrong in this world. I hate grey areas, it just makes you have to weigh options and decide on the lesser evil, but being evil ourselves, aren't we biased?  I make so many selfish decisions in my life, yet always think that I've acted on the good of others.  I mean, where's the clear line? There has got to be clear things in life, so why do I feel that everything I go through seems to be grey?

Lord, You are my strength through thick and thin and in-between, through black and white and grey.  Please give me wisdom and strength.


"Often, I find myself surrounded in a sea of faces, but never really noticed...I feel like a termite in a hive of ants."

The feeling of belongingness is bugging with me again.  Seems like a yearly flu or something, but I seem to always feel that I have a huge sign above my head that says "GET AWAY FROM ME HUMAN!" I'm not trying to say that I'm left out all the time, but I feel that I should be closer to a lot more people now. I mean it's been years with the same group of people, and I feel that I have barely progressed.  But I have realized that people have taken the effort to reach out. I'm not always excluded now but I do feel left out even then I'm included.  EH, it's my overestimations that is ruining everything.

"I'll take a simple one-to-one chat over anything."

I feel that this is what I'm missing, good ol' one on one with people.  Where you can just sit down with a friend and talk about life and stuff.  I mean, it doesn't even have to make sense.  I just need that closeness to know that someone would bother to sit down and just have a conversation with me and not get distracted.  That's enough for me to cherish you as a closer friend.

"I'll treat every girl like my girlfriend, because you never know when she might be the one."

This I learned from Hevind (and he's a proof that this works).  I mean, I've never really treated girls badly.  But I have ignored some.  Now I'm gonna treat every girl as though she's the one :) Not because I want to get a girlfriend that badly, but because it's every girl's right to be treated right.

I think I'm blurting out more then I should...better get to bed before secrets start spilling out :X

To end on a good note:

The open house went better then expected.. Thank you for coming all you people :)