Final week of Madness

It's all coming to an end soon..
One more week of enduring this hectic 6-hours sleep cycle. One more week of feeling that the weight I'm pulling is one too heavy. One more week until I can truly focus on what's important - THESIS! One more week of neglecting social relationships for end-focused groups.  One more week of lying to myself that I'm okay. One more week of pushing away emotions and letting the cognitive processes take over. One more week of telling myself that I can let go of the chase and focus somewhere else. One more week of tension and stress.  One more week... One week MOREEEE!!! (Cue Les Mis sound track).

Been really pushing myself so hard on academics the last few weeks that I've come to realize that I've lost touch with other aspects of myself.
I've lost contact with the happenings of my friends
I've become more goal-focused with my university friends
I've locked out people
I've blocked out all non-helpful emotions that won't help me get my work done
I've become more angry
I've given up on things that actually matter.

It has become an ongoing influx of do this and do that and I'm lost in the middle. Whenever something is done, something else arrives to take it's place. It's like an army of soldiers hellbent on keeping me surrounded. I feel lost in the middle of the chaos and I find it harder and harder to remind myself the core purpose of all this suffering.

Progress. It has always been about moving forward. One stage to the next. But I've always been a person who plans in advance. When I was younger I would plan for the next year, now as I age, I plan for the next few years. I have a plan that will keep me moving forward, but the sad thing is that for the first time in my life, my plan to move forward is holding me back.

With this final week of madness coming to an end, I hope to put aside time to move forward.