#ThePeopleProject2015

I guess you may call me strange for making friendships a project, but the way I see it, if I don't put effort then what's the point? Those of you who have been following this blog (I don't know why you would be, but thanks?), you would know that some time last year, I started an initiative called: Project: Begin Again. And that project was to focus on lost friendships. I'm happy to say that the project was a success of some sort. I did reconnect with friendships past and now I shall move on to the next step: #ThePeopleProject2015 ! *cue intro music*

While Project: Begin Again was about finding friendships, #ThePeopleProject2015 will be about maintaining friendships. It's about keeping in touch and I do not mean in an I-saw-and-read-what-you-posted kind of way, but in a let's-meet-up kind of way. It's about making time for the people I find important in my life. If you are my friend on Facebook, you would have noticed that I've already started this with an album dedicated to #ThePeopleProject2015.

In a way, this and last year's project goes hand in hand and share many similarities. I am still connecting. I am still reconnecting. Nothing much changes except maybe the focus. I've thrown out a wide net last year, not it's time to narrow that net. I've always cherished one-to-one conversations to grouped ones (Though I can be pretty awkward in smaller groups) and this project is about the depth. I don't want to be that hi-bye friend.

So to those I've already met, I'll be seeing you again soon. To those I'm seeing soon, Hi. And to those I've yet to contact, I'm making time. If I don't contact you it could mean one of two things: 1) I meet you so often that there's really no need to make a dramatic effort i.e. Family, Church peeps and former colleagues and 2) I'm not really close to you (but if you want to change that, feel free to drop me a message).

Note: I do realize that my album on Facebook seems rather sexist, but I assure you, I have male friends too.  

Throwback 2014

If I could condense 2014 into one word, it would be spontaneity. This year pushed me out of my comfort zone far more than any other year so far. I am thankful for the people who shared this journey with me. Some of us have met a fork on the road and are now waving goodbye, and yet, I know somewhere along the road, those paths will meet again. I would not be lying when I say that 2014 was my biggest year by far and so let us head straight to the highlights of the year. I am going to pick one major happening per month.

January - #Tutorship

It is the month of beginnings and this was no different. January kicked off with my first full time position as a tutor for the HELP Psychology department.

I am tremendously grateful for good colleagues of many whom I call friends. We never did remain just colleagues. We ended up hiking, jogging, catching movies, going out, eating meals, going on holidays together. Though balancing between our professional relationship and friendship was sometimes a hassle, we pulled through and there was very little drama all things considered.

My colleagues were not the only fun part of my work - after all, you become a tutor to tutor people. I am tremendously thankful for great kids students. Most of them were sporting and did not mind my messing up. Though I often forgot all their names, it did not mean they did not leave an impression (it just means I have terrible memory). I know you kids students will do well with the remainder of your psychology degree and if you don't, I will hunt you down.

February - Broga Hill
The status quo of driving to work in the wee hours of the mornings become mundane and the colleagues decide to take it a step further and wake up even earlier on a Saturday morning to conquer Broga.

Credits to Jeremy Lim

We should try this again soon. 

March - Legal Runs
Because March is a special month for me, it gets two entries. First of all, I turned 21. Though I have already been enjoying all the benefits of being legal (the only thing left I want to do as a legal adult is vote). I am thankful for the people who went out of the way to plan a surprise for me especially my family who masterminded the whole thing.

Neon run was another big thing in 2014. It was definitely an interesting experience running with so many people and the company was great. Guess, I'm going to start looking for more runs this year.

Credits to Lum Wai Lun

April - Graduation

Even though I graduated about four months before, it was finally time to collect my scroll. It was time for my 5 seconds of fame. It was great to meet the people I haven't seen in months coming over to support. I'm sure making the effort to see you guys when it's your turn in a few months.

Let's not forget our get together that night. Maybe we should have another one soon?

May - Chilling
A birthday here, an outing there, and the highlight I would have to pick would be hiking Sungai Chilling. It wasn't the hardest hike I've done and the waterfall at the end wasn't really worth the hike, but the company made it worth it.

June - Anyong!
Outings were numerous in the month of June, but one that definitely stuck permanently was meeting these group of Korean missionary kids.

They were a fun bunch of people to have to privilege of meeting and I'm hoping that we will manage to cross paths again in the near future.

July - Youtube debut
With the "jam-packedness" of the traveling month about to begin, I rushed myself to finally start something that I have been putting off for a long time: entering the Youtube scene. Though the video wasn't published until much later in the year, we technically wrapped up majority of the filming in June.

I'm thankful for sporting people who were willing to work with me and film this crazy video. Though I haven't uploaded anything in a while, I haven't given up on the Youtube thing yet.

August - Traveling
Though the highlight of August was the traveling you can read more about it here, it was also filled up with meetups with people who mean a lot to me. I got closer to a ton of people and managed to reunite with others. Also started something that turned out to be quite a highlight of my 2014.

September - Downtime
No. September wasn't "unhappening". But there was a certain low in September that could be attributed to the high in August. Guess, good things were not meant to last. Closed a door in September and felt generally down the entire month.

Oktober Fest
October meant the celebration of Oktober fest and this year was my first time partaking in the tradition. Managed to meet up with uni mates for a bottle and honest conversations.

November - Shooting people
Though I am thankful for the opportunities of increasing my camera skills via the various events I was invited to shoot this year, I am most thankful for the opportunity of shooting for the EO24 event because I had the privilege of hearing Marina Mahathir speak in person. Also met Uma from BFM there! I guess the event could be considered my first real paid gig and I would like to thank Eugene Khoo for trusting me with such a big job.

Credits to Eugene Khoo

Credits to Eugene Khoo

The event really taught me a lot more about the pressures of a photographer and I enjoy the process tremendously.

December - Korea-HK
Though I didn't contribute much to the planning of the trip, I'm glad that my family decided to spend one and a half weeks traveling. I now know that winter should only be experienced ONCE.

And here it is, my highlights of 2014. I want to wish very special people who contributed to making my 2014 unforgettable.

My Family
Thank you for understanding that I wanted freedom. I want you to know that family is a priority in life and though I may not be taking an active part in the family business, it is still dear to my heart.

My Colleagues Frolleagues
Thank you for making the office more home than office. I leave my tutorship with a troubled heart because I am not sure whether I could ever find a replacement for you.

Malaysian bound 93s 
We're still here. Thank you for keeping me in the loop. I get closer to you guys every year.

Fellow Psychos
It's been a year and we're still in touch! Well, at least most of us are. Justin gets a special mention for being the bro that he is for helping me with "life issues". Millie gets a mention too because she too has helped me with "life issues".

Pica Pica
Thank you for including me in your circle and for not making me being a tutor awkward. I'm looking forward to the day when it's my turn to bring my plus one to one of our outings.

Makan Buddies
Guess our presemester lunches will not need to be presemester lunches anymore.

Special mentions
Because you guys don't really fall into a group of people, your individuality is worth mentioning. My year will not have been the same without you. Suets, Lav, Ming, Nicole, Rachel, Gloria, the other Reuben (hey look, it's a guy's name!), Vania (technically you belong to Fellow Pyschos but I've known you longer), and John (another guy's name!). You guys contributed a ton load to my 2014 and I hope that you will continue to contribute to my 2015.

Now with this recap done. I think I can say goodbye to 2014 with this: I loved the ups and downs, and you are one year that is going to be tough to beat. 2015, I'm ready for you!

The Assuming Christian

We all know about what people say about those who assume (I'm assuming you know). Well, for those who don't, just read the first three letters of the word and you'll probably get it. Assumptions, like stereotypes, are heuristics that help us everyday. And like stereotypes, assumptions are usually the beginning of not so encouraging behavior. It saddens me that the most assuming bunch of people I've ever met are the people who share my faith - Christians.

(Though it could be argued that because of my faith, I'm surrounded by Christians already and they will of course be the most "anything" bunch of people I've ever met, but let me assure you that I'm not the only one who thinks this.)

To top it off, I agree that we, Christians, sometimes can't help but to assume. After all, Christianity is the largest religion in the world in both numbers and reach. We are supposedly everywhere. And numbers do not lie. The numbers say that we should expect people to know about our faith without our need to know about theirs. People should have been exposed to Christianity because we are everywhere - music, movies, TV shows, books. Everywhere. With all this readily available sources of information, how can a non-Christian NOT know about Christianity? How can a non-Christian NOT know that Jesus Christ IS the Lamb of God, Lion of Judah, the Promised Lamb, the Vine, Son of Man, Son of God, etc? How can a non-Christian NOT know that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, left Heaven and came to Earth as a baby boy, lived a sinless life, was betrayed by one of his own, was crucified, and rose to life after three days? After an unteenth amount of Christmas and Easter skits, songs, plays, and poems, how can they NOT know?  How can a non-Christian NOT know the salvation story?

Could it be because of our arrogance? Could it be because of our assumptions? We're sending out the message but is it translated into something that other non-Christian-jargon-speaking human beings can understand? Are we all caught up in flowery language and prose that we have forgotten the reason why we speak in the first place? I've seen Christian stage plays more interested in plot twists and flamboyancy that the salvation message is lost. I've heard evangelical speakers preach about the "sacrificial blood of the Lamb of God that was slain" without even thinking about explaining what it meant to the probably confused audience. I've witness theological debates turn into jargon-throwing cacophonies of complicated Christian mambo jumbo.

"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. - 1st Chorinthians 13:2" 

Love. It is as simple as that. Why are we complicating it? If we have love, grace and faith will follow. If we have love, we will stop trying to outsmart people. If we have love, we will be humble. If we have love, we will stop assuming that everybody knows the 10 Commandments like the back of their hands. If we have love, our testimonies will be better than a big budget evangelical project. I understand the need to up the ante, but are we losing the purpose? Unless you can tell me straight to my face that the Salvation story has gone so stale that we have to constantly think of something more creative, why are we focusing on anything else? I get the fact that we have to incorporate and change with the times, and I agree. The medium should change, but the message should remain the same.

I end this with a song that should be used for reflection. What is our message and would our assumptions hinder that message from being translated clearly?

The Critical Church

"The music is too loud."

"A woman shouldn't be on the pulpit."

"If you repeat a song too many times, it loses its meaning."

"God is not deaf."

"His pronunciation was terrible."

"Why didn't the pastor say something about that?"

"You shouldn't use your phone to read scripture."

"He is reading his prayer."

"Her prayer has no structure."

"The worship had no direction."

"How can they let a child do that?"

"That was such a distracting slang."

"Young people should know better."

"Worship was flat."

Sound familiar? The church would like to think themselves free from the little quirks of the world but the truth is that they are right at the center of it. With the onslaught of knowledge acquisition via the internet, everyone has become a critic. We criticize everything from a certain actor's movie choices to a particular singer on Youtube. We, ourselves, are the smartest people that we know and everyone else is just too blind and needs our 'enlightenment'.

The church hasn't escaped this. I always found that the beauty of having denominations in the Christian faith was that there was a church for everyone. But somehow we are caught in a "ours is better" debate between denominations which only serves to show non-Christians our differences, and because of that, these non-Christians will never see the common ground that C.S.Lewis talks about:

"When all is said (and truly said) about the divisions of Christendom, there remains, by God's mercy, an enormous common ground." - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity 

We're so busy fighting among ourselves trying to prove who is right that we're missing out the main point. We forget the one thing that is most important of them all - that Grace has come to set us free. And from the Grace that we have received through the example and mercy of Jesus Christ, we too should show grace.

But that isn't the case, the church is so caught up in pleasing the congregation that we're crippled instead of set free. Worship leaders who are eager to sing new songs unto the Lord are quickly turned into uninspired puppets because of the murmurings of critical people. How do you expect one person to dare stand before the congregation to speak of God's amazing grace when the person knows that that grace is not extended to him? When your every move from walking too much and standing too still is noted down by critical eyes? When your every diction is scrutinized and your mannerism interpreted for worse? How is one free to worship when hands are nervously raised and knees are scared to bend?

We are set free by Grace. We are set free from the bondage of the world. At least we are supposed to be. Somehow we are free from earthly bondage but are subject to the chains of legality. How can this be?

"In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity." - Augustine of Hippo

We take pride in our ability to spot the splinter in our brother's eye. And the worse part is that we are well aware of the teachings of Jesus on this. We take pride in bringing down our fellow Christians. We take pride in winning the little battles. We take pride in our intellectual capability.

In so doing, we fail to exercise grace. We fail to be the least of these. We fail to love. We fail to lift others up.

---

If I have ever used my intellect as a means of bringing you down, I am sorry. If I have ever criticized your actions either in front of you or behind your back, I ask for your forgiveness. If I have ever hurt you for uncalled reasons, I apologize. I don't want to be part of the critical church anymore. I want to be a grace reflector. I have been saved by grace and from now on I only hope that my actions reflect grace.

The Traveling Month

August proved to be a really happening time period. I'm feel quite accomplished at the fact that I didn't spend an entire week in Selangor. Life went on normally when I was in the office, but whenever it was possible, I took off to feed the yolo travelling desires that have been cooking since the year began.

Kin Tick Orchard Village (20th July - 22nd July)

Drove there on a Sunday right after church. We made a stop at a Chinese restaurant named Xan Ling at Segambut. It was jammed packed with customers and it took us a while before we could find a vacant table despite the fact that it was 1:30pm and the restaurant was the size of a small mall. And the food was good.

We got back on the road and before we knew it, we entered the territory of Bentong which was where our resort was located. We made a pit stop for the famous Bentong ice cream...

...and we reached our destination.

The place was beautiful. Surrounded by greens at every corner. Spent most of the time with my brother filming things and shooting things. The thing about Bentong was that it was high enough to have a hint of the hilly chillness. It was a good recharge. 

Port Dickson Methodist Center (1st - 3rd August)

Attending CUG's annual camp has always been one of the highlights of my year. This year, we
invaded PDMC as Salt and Light. I don't think there's much to say about the camp that hasn't been said. So if you want to read about what we did, head over here, here, or here.

Langkawi (6th - 8th August)

Barely even three days back, before I was out for the next destination. This time with the male colleagues for some berbonding time and since pictures paint a thousand words, I shall let the breathtaking (at least I think they are breathtaking) photos I took, show you my experience. 

There was a lot of good food and good company. The irony of the entire trip was that the bus journey took longer than the plane ride. 

Melaka (15th August)

Trying to keep the traveling spree going, a spontaneous one-day trip was planned Melaka-bound.  

Tons of chicken rice balls after, and we were back within 3 hours.

Thankful for spontaneous colleagues. 

Ipoh (23rd August)

Now with the PJEFC Comms+Media Crew, we took a trip to Ipoh for the sole purpose of shooting things. This was another day trip. Having pulled an all-nighter the night before, I have no pictures of the bus ride because I was dead asleep. 

Genting (31st August - 1st September)

The last stop of the Traveling Month was another spontaneous trip. We didn't even decide on the place until we met up and didn't even decide whether we'd be staying the night until we reached the destination.

*note to self: Always check to see that the cable car lights are working before entering.*

All-in-all, I thoroughly enjoyed the traveling and the company. Whoever says that Malaysia doesn't have anything to offer in terms of traveling destinations is blind. Yes, there are "better" places overseas, but at least, locally, we don't have to pay a bomb.

Now it has been almost a month since I last stepped outside the Klang Valley and I'm very tempted to fly away again.

My Opinion

We are being raised as an entitled generation. Society tells us to question authority and we are rewarded for speaking out our mind. We receive reinforcement for having (and fighting for) an opinion. World issue? Better have a stand on that particular new uproar in a nation that is a few thousand miles away and (to be honest) have nothing to do with you. Religion? Either follow one or deny its existence, and go debate about how everyone else is wrong to adhere to something against your stand. Politics? Support one, diss the other, or believe that you are too pure to get involved. Homosexuality? Even if it doesn’t affect you, you still have to have a stand no? Next we’re going to have people having moral debates about whether it is socially acceptable for adults to be in love with kids (and there is actually a debate already).

Opinions are everywhere. Social media seems to have spearheaded this generation of one-sided people. Facebook asks “What’s on your mind?” and Twitter does the same by asking “What’s happening?” And there is nothing entirely wrong with having an opinion, right? After all, we are ALL entitled to OUR own opinion. That is the message we have been told since we were young. We are living in a world that is increasingly personal. We have personal mobile phones instead of sharing a communal house phone and we drive five-seater cars solo. We mess with the status quo because being radical is rewarded. We draw inspiration from famous people. From Abraham Lincoln to Adolf Hitler, we see that history remembers the bold and different – the men and women of rock solid opinion. We embolden diversity and frown upon the boring and stagnant. We tell people to follow their wacky dreams and we ignore those who conform to a boring office job.

In so doing, we raise a generation that yearns for attention. We raise a generation that grows up to believe that to be heard, you have to say something that sounds philosophical, controversial, or meaningful. We ask thought-provoking questions not for the answers but for the sake of feeling smarter. We share deep thoughts not for the progress of knowledge but for the number of “likes” it receives. We start debates (more like arguments) on these deep thoughts that become a battle of who can type the longest comment or who can outlast the other. We attack people’s opinions with scrutiny, but we miss the cracks in ours.

Why?

Because we want to be heard. We are eager for the world to listen to us. So eager in fact, that we have no time or patience to listen to other people’s eager cries to be heard. I say ‘we’ because, by default, I belong to this generation. I do yearn for my voice to be heard, my statuses to be liked and to finally feel that the world cares about ME. I was raised by the society that said having an opinion mattered and knowing how to defend it to your dying breath is honorable.

But the question is: What will become of this?

I am not going to propose a three-step solution. There isn't one that I am aware of. But what I can tell you is that this is not going to get any better. We have lost something in this generation and with that loss came a quiet shift from a caring society to an opinionated one. We have lost the ability to listen. We have lost the ability to accommodate another person’s opinion with our own. We have lost the ability to treasure knowledge and learn from an opposing view. We have closed our minds in times when we could have learnt the most. We hear noise coming out of our antagonist’s lips and we shrug them away. Why? Because…

We are never wrong.

We are entitled.

Our opinions are of great value.

And this is my opinion.

The Imagined Future

"He missed that too, and it hadn't even happened. He missed his imagined future." - Colin Singleton in An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

 I get ahead of myself. Being the person that likes to work towards a goal, it should come to no surprise. When I'm immersed in a conversation with a friend, my head will be full of questions like what I would be saying next, what question would be a good follow up, is it awkward to have a silent pause here? And it doesn't stop there. My brain continues on to "When will we be meeting again?" and in my head I'm already planning the next meeting to suit my mental schedule.

It seems that I live in the future. I live in an imagined future. In this imagined future, everything is exactly as I've planned. I'm exactly where I want to be and with exactly the people I want to be with. And that is where the problem begins...

I have an imagined future and it is idealistic. It's almost perfect. There are no problems. And that inadvertently is the problem.  Life isn't perfect (At least the present isn't). Because the present is uncertain. The variables are ever changing and whatever changes in my present will mess up my imagined future. I'm not a spontaneous person. I don't work well under last minute stress. I can't handle that. But the present seems to always call upon the need for spontaneity.

As of now, my imagined self in my imagined future is sitting comfortably in front of his computer typing away a script or a book or a poem where his wife and beautiful children waltzes into the room and the kids are jumping on the sofa screaming in delight. The wife leans on the table and strokes his hair asking how goes the progress. In the future, I wouldn't need anymore...

The problem is working towards that imagined future. As of now, I am nowhere near that imagined future. I don't have anything published, I don't have a significant other, and I don't have a fancy writing room. I am normally too caught up with trying to make my present match this imagined future that I miss out on opportunities. I miss out on potential friendships because the schema doesn't match. I miss out on golden opportunities, because it isn't part of the imagined future.

Am I losing what I never had to begin with? Can I hold on to what I never possessed?