"Friends never say goodbye..."
- The Road to El Dorado
Like a wave of uneasiness, regrets flooded my thoughts yesterday night that meant sleep was to be eluded. All the thoughts had a common theme - loss of friendship. Over my 20 over years of life, one thing that I've found most intriguing is my lack of ability to sustain friendships. I have no idea how to continue talking to a person who is not a current classmate, church friend, or co-worker. Honestly, starting a conversation with a person I have not talked to in a few months is daunting.
What do I say?
What can we talk about?
What is appropriate?
What is appropriate?
The beauty of social networking has been the bane. I convince myself that I am in touch with these old friends just because I read their updates, but truth be told, where is the one-to-one communication? Where is the human interaction that is so key?
My biggest fear with catching up with old friends is that I don't know what is the protocol. Talking to peers with current interests is easy. You find a topic of commonality and you shoot. Hopefully, the other will continue the same protocol and a question-answer-share cycle begins.
But isn't there another protocol for long lost friends? What do I even say to someone I haven't met in a while?
'Hi, how are you? (I know you're feeling a little low; I read your tweet)'
'What have you been up to? (I know you went to the bar the other day because of your status update)'
'Long time no see (I see your profile picture popping up on my newsfeed)'
I can't say I blame social media for my loss of friendship, but I can say that social media gives me an illusion that I still have this friendship. The problem with that is that though I am, in some ways, in constant contact with my old friends, there is no exchange of good quality conversations.
What happens when my friends are more of the reserved kind? What happens when I don't see any updates from them? I simply lose touch. I end up not knowing what this person is doing, and this troubles me.
This troubles me because I want to know how you (by you I mean all you wonderful people who I can call friends) are doing. I want to be a friend again, and this is what this post is about.
A cool name for a simple objective: To reconnect with lost friends within this year.
I've been terrible at maintaining friendships, and I don't want to lose the people who have been involved with my social development. So I'm taking this year to start random conversations with people whom I once called close and those that I want to be closer to.
To the people I've lost contact with because of distance. To the people I've lost contact with because of separation. To the people I've lost contact with simply because it wasn't convenient to meet anymore. To the people I've lost contact with because I didn't make an effort to maintain our friendship. I would first like to apologize, and to tell you that I'm trying to reconnect.
My biggest fear with catching up with old friends is that I don't know what is the protocol. Talking to peers with current interests is easy. You find a topic of commonality and you shoot. Hopefully, the other will continue the same protocol and a question-answer-share cycle begins.
But isn't there another protocol for long lost friends? What do I even say to someone I haven't met in a while?
'Hi, how are you? (I know you're feeling a little low; I read your tweet)'
'What have you been up to? (I know you went to the bar the other day because of your status update)'
'Long time no see (I see your profile picture popping up on my newsfeed)'
I can't say I blame social media for my loss of friendship, but I can say that social media gives me an illusion that I still have this friendship. The problem with that is that though I am, in some ways, in constant contact with my old friends, there is no exchange of good quality conversations.
What happens when my friends are more of the reserved kind? What happens when I don't see any updates from them? I simply lose touch. I end up not knowing what this person is doing, and this troubles me.
This troubles me because I want to know how you (by you I mean all you wonderful people who I can call friends) are doing. I want to be a friend again, and this is what this post is about.
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Project: Begin Again
A cool name for a simple objective: To reconnect with lost friends within this year.
I've been terrible at maintaining friendships, and I don't want to lose the people who have been involved with my social development. So I'm taking this year to start random conversations with people whom I once called close and those that I want to be closer to.
To the people I've lost contact with because of distance. To the people I've lost contact with because of separation. To the people I've lost contact with simply because it wasn't convenient to meet anymore. To the people I've lost contact with because I didn't make an effort to maintain our friendship. I would first like to apologize, and to tell you that I'm trying to reconnect.
To the people you've lost contact with because you didn't continue our Facebook wall-to-wall message streak. HAHA
ReplyDeleteHahaha I guess this little project failed because I didn't talk to you.
Delete