Why have I stopped blogging? I don't know. I don't seem intrigued anymore.
Now if I'm struck with emotions I just turn them into lyrics or prose which can all be found at pioneerinspired.blgspot.com
But then again, sometimes words need to be said.
My personal life is a mess. I like to think of myself as a logical person and that I won't simply make decisions based on this illogical thing called: emotions. But to admit the truth, I do get rather emotional about my decisions MOST of the time. And making this decision to fall might be the best or worse impulsive decision I've ever made.
I pride myself at being logical and hold on to precedence. I pride myself in the ability to be loyal and hold on to hope. I pride myself at being idealistic and hold on to truths. I pride myself at being steadfast and hold on to consistency. But truth being, I struggle a lot. I struggle with many decisions I make. I struggle with everything. This brain of mine doesn't seem to work like everyone else. One moment I say that I won't fall for you and the next thing I know, I can't stop thinking about you. Scumbag brain doesn't like to listen to me.
Now here comes the hardest part. To pursue or to let go. My decision would have been clearly the first, but factors have come to interfere with that.
Now I'm in a deadlock. Some part of me says to still give it a try, but then another part of me says that you deserve better.
Hopefully, absence will make the heart grow fonder :)
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