I was having this long conversation with a friend and I've come to a conclusion that girls have it easier when it comes to BGR and stuff.
Of course I've never been in a relationship before, but from observation...it's no wonder that guys are the ones that have a shorter lifespan.
1. Guys do the chasing. Maybe in this modern world, the girl gets her hands a little dirty, but in most cases, it's the guy that has to go through the heartache and nervous traumas that comes with having the guts to ask a girl out. And how is that fair? Guys have to live with the rejection while the girls hold the power of a guy's heart in her hands.
2. Guys plan everything. When it comes to dates, the guys usually do all the planning. The where to go and the what to do along with the hows.
3. Guys have to remember everything. When it comes to anniversaries, birthdays, special occasions, favorite restaurants, time of the months, appointments, guys are pressured to remember everything. Sure, girls also do the remembering, but they remember these things to test the guys. Where's the justice in that?
4. Guys have to cope with everything. Take the mood swings, the expectations, the responsibility. Guys have to take it all.
5. Guys have to be gentlemanly. In their conduct, no matter how stressed they are, no matter how busy, they have to be the cool gentleman and be the stable person.
These points may not be the case in ALL BGR cases, but I'm pretty sure these are the most common reasons as to why girls get it off easier.
Saying all this, I guess, I don't mind it. I've been raised to take on this role. But for this time at least, I don't feel that I'm prepared for a relationship. I'm not ready to take GOOD care of another person without losing myself in the process. It's easy to talk about relationships but it's hard to live one, and I'm not sure whether I can take that kind of pressure. But with the time that I'm spending trying to be a better person, my options are running lesser and lesser. I believe that if God had ever intended me to be married, He's preparing that beautiful girl the same to live with my lousiness as well as my plus points, just as He's preparing me for her. :)
* Disclaimer: no offence was intended to any gender whatsoever. If you felt hurt, then it only means I hit a soft spot.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
The Robber's Cave Experiment in Reality
We have existed as a group long before even I joined them. We've always been called close friends even to the point of being called exclusive. Well, I liked that. For once in my life I was in the exclusive group instead of the ones being left out. We have done things as a group - we've gone out, we've eaten together, we've performed together, we've even coordinated clothes together.
But the biggest threat to our fragility of our group is ourselves. Our diversity often became a struggle as one party had to learn to adjust and accept another party. This has caused tension in our group sure, but we've always managed to survive and move on. We've adapted; we've prevailed. Then a great suggestion that we should take some time off together for a trip comes...
What do you get when you have two evenly matched groups debating for the destination of their choice? Well, there are only three outcomes possible. 1) One group budges and lets the other group win. 2) The group splits into two and go their separate ways. 3) The group goes no where.
Scenario 1 is the most likely to happen. We are close-knit. We won't want this fight to go on for too long. one side would budge, but there will definitely be some unhappy people especially from the side who seems to have perceived to have lost. The possibility of some of them declining to go for the trip as a protest against their loss, is a possibility, but so is the possibility of the other side "rubbing it in".
I just hope when the decisions are made, some making up can be done. There is going to be disappointments.
Scenario 2 is the one I'm hoping will not happen. I hate being left out and I hate it more when I have to chose between two groups of friends.
Scenario 3 is what will happen if no decision can be made. It'll be a sad scenario, but in this case everyone loses and so after the blame-game is over, there'll be no more fighting.
It's just like what my lecturer mentioned in class. "The more choices you give to people, the least happy they are." For every option you introduce, you create a "what-if" scenario. It's like making a decision based on a throw of a dice. As Abed from Community would have said, "we will be creating six new alternate realities."
Now to explain the title. The Robber's Cave experiment was a classic experiment in which two groups of kids were pitted against each other. The competition among them started with little name-calling and then escalated to intense rivalry. To make them friends, the experimenters introduced a superordinate goal which is a goal where both groups are forced to work together to solve a common problem.
So the question would be. After this conflict, and after a compromise has been agreed upon. Would we need a superordinate goal to bring us back together as the 'tight-knit exclusive' group we once were? Or can we find it in ourselves to give and take?
But the biggest threat to our fragility of our group is ourselves. Our diversity often became a struggle as one party had to learn to adjust and accept another party. This has caused tension in our group sure, but we've always managed to survive and move on. We've adapted; we've prevailed. Then a great suggestion that we should take some time off together for a trip comes...
What do you get when you have two evenly matched groups debating for the destination of their choice? Well, there are only three outcomes possible. 1) One group budges and lets the other group win. 2) The group splits into two and go their separate ways. 3) The group goes no where.
Scenario 1 is the most likely to happen. We are close-knit. We won't want this fight to go on for too long. one side would budge, but there will definitely be some unhappy people especially from the side who seems to have perceived to have lost. The possibility of some of them declining to go for the trip as a protest against their loss, is a possibility, but so is the possibility of the other side "rubbing it in".
I just hope when the decisions are made, some making up can be done. There is going to be disappointments.
Scenario 2 is the one I'm hoping will not happen. I hate being left out and I hate it more when I have to chose between two groups of friends.
Scenario 3 is what will happen if no decision can be made. It'll be a sad scenario, but in this case everyone loses and so after the blame-game is over, there'll be no more fighting.
It's just like what my lecturer mentioned in class. "The more choices you give to people, the least happy they are." For every option you introduce, you create a "what-if" scenario. It's like making a decision based on a throw of a dice. As Abed from Community would have said, "we will be creating six new alternate realities."
Now to explain the title. The Robber's Cave experiment was a classic experiment in which two groups of kids were pitted against each other. The competition among them started with little name-calling and then escalated to intense rivalry. To make them friends, the experimenters introduced a superordinate goal which is a goal where both groups are forced to work together to solve a common problem.
So the question would be. After this conflict, and after a compromise has been agreed upon. Would we need a superordinate goal to bring us back together as the 'tight-knit exclusive' group we once were? Or can we find it in ourselves to give and take?
Friday, August 3, 2012
Prophesy vs Destiny
Whenever people talk to me about prophesies I become skeptical. I do not doubt the possibility of prophesies to come true, but I doubt the source more often than not. We hear of the great prophets of old who could predict the future of mankind and even the death of kings. How Jesus' coming was foreseen more than a century before he arrived. But in the modern world...
I believe that there are still breathing and living prophets in this day and age, but prophesies have been corrupted to the point that many are desensitized to the truth. Suppose a person receives a prophecy from a man of God and it does not come true, then doubt arises in this person and his faith is in jeopardy. Many so-called prophets has laid claim to 'divine vision' and influenced people to succumb to their so-called destinies. The one of the most famous of these so-called 'spiritual men', Jim Jones, made all his followers drink cyanide because he 'foresaw' the end days. Hundreds of lives wasted and gone because they believed in a madman's prophecy.
Many who have laid claim to divine revelation have tried to make it big in the media. We have online prophets and TV sensational stars that all claimed to have a message from the most high. Billions have been fooled out of billions. And here I sometimes get criticized for being too skeptical.
The matter being questioned here is whether prophecies and destinies coincide or conflict. Is there a possibility that the prophesy you have received can come into direct conflict with your destiny?
Many people believe in destiny. They believe that we are all made with a purpose to fulfill a certain calling or duty before moving on. Well, I believe that we all have a destiny. I believe we have a purpose to accomplish something in this life.
So how does this come into conflict with prophesies? Well, there does not need to be necessary conflict. If your prophecy coincides with your destiny and they do not clash, then you do not have a dilemma.
People hate and love the unknown. It is our curiosity and fear of it that make us seek our fortune-tellers, which-doctors, prophets, and even theoretical physicists for the answers to our future. This is why when we hear a good prophecy about ourselves, such as we'll have success in business or we'll get married and have a beautiful family, we fail to entertain or acknowledge the lines in-between. Taking a prophecy at face value is as good as marrying the first girl you see because the drunk guy down the street said you two will live happily ever after. The greatest prophetic book (some will argue it's not prophetic) in the Bible, Revelations, is full of colorful and descriptive words that until today have yet to be fully deciphered. So names people see in visions never necessary have to mean that you will meet a specific person with that name. It could be a quality attributed to that name. Take Nehemiah for example: If someone prophesied that you would meet a guy named Nehemiah (We can all agree that meeting a man named Nehemiah in this day and age would be quite interestingly rare), it could mean that you were going to meet a short girl (Knee-high Maya).
Jokes aside. This is a touchy issue. I'm just voicing out my thoughts. Honestly, I think I'm just a skeptical person. I see conspiracies everywhere.
I believe that there are still breathing and living prophets in this day and age, but prophesies have been corrupted to the point that many are desensitized to the truth. Suppose a person receives a prophecy from a man of God and it does not come true, then doubt arises in this person and his faith is in jeopardy. Many so-called prophets has laid claim to 'divine vision' and influenced people to succumb to their so-called destinies. The one of the most famous of these so-called 'spiritual men', Jim Jones, made all his followers drink cyanide because he 'foresaw' the end days. Hundreds of lives wasted and gone because they believed in a madman's prophecy.
Many who have laid claim to divine revelation have tried to make it big in the media. We have online prophets and TV sensational stars that all claimed to have a message from the most high. Billions have been fooled out of billions. And here I sometimes get criticized for being too skeptical.
The matter being questioned here is whether prophecies and destinies coincide or conflict. Is there a possibility that the prophesy you have received can come into direct conflict with your destiny?
Many people believe in destiny. They believe that we are all made with a purpose to fulfill a certain calling or duty before moving on. Well, I believe that we all have a destiny. I believe we have a purpose to accomplish something in this life.
So how does this come into conflict with prophesies? Well, there does not need to be necessary conflict. If your prophecy coincides with your destiny and they do not clash, then you do not have a dilemma.
People hate and love the unknown. It is our curiosity and fear of it that make us seek our fortune-tellers, which-doctors, prophets, and even theoretical physicists for the answers to our future. This is why when we hear a good prophecy about ourselves, such as we'll have success in business or we'll get married and have a beautiful family, we fail to entertain or acknowledge the lines in-between. Taking a prophecy at face value is as good as marrying the first girl you see because the drunk guy down the street said you two will live happily ever after. The greatest prophetic book (some will argue it's not prophetic) in the Bible, Revelations, is full of colorful and descriptive words that until today have yet to be fully deciphered. So names people see in visions never necessary have to mean that you will meet a specific person with that name. It could be a quality attributed to that name. Take Nehemiah for example: If someone prophesied that you would meet a guy named Nehemiah (We can all agree that meeting a man named Nehemiah in this day and age would be quite interestingly rare), it could mean that you were going to meet a short girl (Knee-high Maya).
Jokes aside. This is a touchy issue. I'm just voicing out my thoughts. Honestly, I think I'm just a skeptical person. I see conspiracies everywhere.
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