Never There

Why do I have this feeling of incompleteness?


I know that I have done a lot.
I know that I have fulfilled my promises.
I know that I have been there when I was needed.


But why do I still feel like I'm never there?
It's like I see the door to success and I'm running towards it, but the closer I get to the door, the further it seems to get.  Why can't I feel satisfied with the things I've done?  Why can't I feel complete?


I feel like I'm there but never there.
Fulfilled yet not satisfied.
Good but never the best.


I feel...like I'm just
              Average.
              Stuck in Limbo
              Lukewarm
              Never there.


It's this awful feeling that has kept me pushing and exerting myself...I may look confident, but that's because I've told myself that I will look confident...that I will exceed people's expectations...that I will not fell in front of them and disgrace myself.  


It's like I'm reaching for the sky but the sky will always be the limit....
I'm running to the horizon, but I'll never reach it... 


Lord, please fill this gap in my life.  Let me fill complete.  Help me to reach the horizons...
Lead me, guide me, show me your path.